Monday, July 15, 2013

Eso’s Chronicles 190/ 4
Back to the Present
© Eso A.B.

With a flip of its tail, the fish sent Clever John and the entire sand dune to the gate of Yenghis Khan’s castle. Soon there was, however, another problem: How to bring the gold to Yenghis Khan? John had neither a horse, nor a wagon, nor servants to help him.

But no sooner is there trouble, a solution, too, is at hand. Out of the cloud appears Crazy Jane again. This time, she sets herself down on earth. Next to her stands the Mother of the Devil. The mother’s hair is yellow streaked with red. It is all over her face or stands straight up in the air. In her hands she holds the reins of Rocinante, who—whereever she fell--appeared to have survived the fall in good shape. Her reins and bridle are of gold and gold mesh.

Crazy Jane and her mother help Clever John lift the pile of gold into the wagon. Crazy Jane whispers into John’s ear yet another piece of advice: “Don’t be in a hurry. Walk slowly as if you are a prince. You are no longer just a mover of hay and catcher of crickets. Yenghis Khan is good his word.  Your Princess will not disappear. You’ve practically paid your life for her.”

Jersika, the Devil’s Castle

Having loaded the wagon with gold, Clever John drove to the main door of Yenghis Khan’s castle.

Over the gate hung a large sign, where in large letters was written “JERSIKA”, a Latvian word that stands for “Jerusalem”. In other words, Clever John stood at the entrance to the very heart of the proto-Latvian people. Here six guards rolled their drums to summon the king. Yenghis Khan, aka John The Great, himself came to the gate. This time the King wore leather boots. His eyes shone with happiness. Even he had never seen so much gold in one place at one time.

When Yenghis Khan had inspected the quality of the gold, he called for his daughter, the princess Complete Satisfaction. The six drummers picked up six horns and trumpeted: “Com-plea-at! Com-plea-at!  Sa-sa-tis-faction! Sa-sa-tis-faction! Sa-sa-tis-fac-tion-tion!”

But the King and Clever John waited in vain. In a while, a guard came running to announce that Complete Satisfaction was delayed. Yenghis Khan apologized to John for the inconvenience, and said he hoped that Clever John understood that Complete Satisfaction could not be anything but what her name foretold.

“Since you are clever, John, you surely know how women are,” said Yenghis Khan. “They exhaust men by making them wait, then give them one apple instead of two. But do not worry. You will surely meet her in bed. I am told that she is preparing a surprise for you. You will be no worse for the anticipation. Besides, the custom in Jersika is to celebrate the marriage ceremony without the bride. It is thus that Complete Satisfaction builds up to the ‘lihgo’ or halleluia event.”

Thus, Clever John had some time to preparee wedding ceremony. He took some of the surplus gold and hired a full orchestra to play him and the Princess a fanfare. He also sent an invitation to his brothers. The whole day of the ninth day after “Johns Eve” passed in rehearsing dances and preparing tournaments of strength and wit. Among the dancers were the revived six sisters of Crazy Jane.

When the six brothers of Clever John finally arrived, no sweeter reunion of lovers was ever seen. Even the Mother of the Devil and King John the Great were seen dancing.  

As for the six brothers: they would not cease praising Clever John: Who could ever have imagined that bathing seven crickets in the sea would lead to such awesome results and a feast that would last a week?

At last, came the evening and it was time for Clever John to go ‘lihgo’ with the Princess of Complete Satisfaction.

King John the Great along with the Mother of the Devil lead Clever John to the bedroom door. When they arrived at the door, they gave Clever John last minute advice: “The moment you go inside and see (by the light of the door) where the bed is, do not wait, but dive into the divan. Your bride (the Latvians call her “dahvana”) will be waiting for you. Do not hesitate. If you do, the Princess may lose, both, heat and her desire for you.”

 A servant then opened the door of the Lihgo room. Clever John saw the double spread divan and ran for it. As the servant closed the door, everything went pitch black around him.

Clever John, once under the blanket, did not waste time beginning to feel for the princess. He soon felt something soft beside him. He felt a night gown, fond its buttons, and… and… he felt straw. Can it be true that he had been fooled?

“What the Devil…,” he began to shout and would have shouted some more, except the door of the room suddenly opened and a shaft of light discovers Clever John on all fours in bed feeling up a straw doll.

Into the Lihgo room come a servant with a large candelabra alight with candles. Right behind the servent came Crazy Jane.

As soon as the servant put the candelabra on the table and left the room.  Crazy Jane wasted no time and said what was on her mind:

“What do you take me for, Clever John?” she screamed. “Was I not the woman who you proposed to? Do you really believe that some princess named Complete Satisfaction was just waiting for you with her butt raised in the air?”

For the first time in his life Clever John is speechless. “But, but…”, he began, but no other words came. Then he noticed that Crazy Jane was holding in her hands a pair of leather boots. With her eyes flashing lightning, she threw the boots on the bed.

“Put these on,” she commanded. Clever John noticed that Crazy Jane, too, wore boots and that her knees were shaking.

Clever John did as Crazy Jane ordered and put on the boots.

The moment the bottoms of his feet touched the inner soles of the boots, he felt himself seized by a big shake. His skin was traversed by shivers, and then he was seized by a heat wave that alternated with a cold wave. Crazy Jane pulled off her night gown and with boots still on jumped into bed and snuggled up the Clever John.

Those of the King’s court, including the Devil, King Yenghis Khan, and the Sun, the Mother of the Devil, who stood outside the bedroom with an ear to the door began to hear strange noises. The divan went: “Creek! Creek!” This was the signal for the court chorus of Jersika to break out in Lihgo a song: “O Jersika! O Jersika! Go lihgo! Lih-go! Lih-go!”.

The rest of the court joined in a chorus:

“Ai, Clever Johnny, son of the Sun,
Lih-ih-go! Lih-ih-go!
Ai Crazy Janey, daughter of the Devil,
Lih-ih-go! Lih-ih-go!

After the song was done, the trumpets sounded once more the fanfare to Clever John and Crazy Jane. It sent shivers through every proto-Latvian who ever heard it.

That is how they once celebrated Johns Eve in Jersika, proto-Latvia.

The story ends here. Clever John and Crazy Jane live to this day in Jersika. They have never yet climbed out of the bed, and this is why the soles and heels of their boots have never worn down.

(The end.) -30-

The enslavement of human being to labor continues in China as it once did in Europe and America. See the process continue in Chinese concentration camps, aka “Tibet socialist villages”

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