EC703 This is a REENTRY of re-edited

EC659 [Latvian version: “LIECINIEKS (Citas vēstures stāstam)”]

(@ http://esoschronicles.blogspot.com/

The Life Review of Robin Ludd/ A Family Epic

By © Anton Vendamenc, 2017

The Life

Review

Of  

Robin Ludd

A Family epic

By © Anton Vendamenc, 2019

CONTENT

         Once Upon A Time

1.       How It began

2.       The Story of Grandmother

3.       The Story of Grandfather

4.       The Story of Father

5.       A Few Pithies

6.       With Prick in Hand

7.       The Great Loop de Loop

8.       Why First Armageddon Failed

9.       Back to the Wood

10.  *The Asterisk

In times past poets expressed intimate^sexual feelings by summoning images from nature. One of the better known such examples comes from the German poet Goethe and his poem “ Kennst du das Land ^{https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMe22tHvG4c} ” (Do you know the land?) Today sexual bonds with nature have vanished and have been replaced with the sensitivities of an urbanized homo-gentiled class. The shift away from wood and field was so sudden and dramatic that the replacement become known as ‘confessional’ poetry’. The initiator of the transition was the American poet Walt Whitman ^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Whitman} . A hundred years later Whitman was followed (in America) by Robert_{”Mymind’s not right”}^{Skunk Hour} Lowell ^{https://en.wikipedia.aorg/waiki/Robert_Lowell}  For a brief period (1957-58) this author attended Lowell’s poetry seminars at Boston University and was taken seriously enough to hear himself called “a surealist”. Surealy enough the brief entanglement with the author of “Life Studies ^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Studies}  ” has lingered on to bring forth “The Life Review of Robin Ludd”

1 How It Began

First

A definition

Of ’fuck’

As in fucked up

As if by some magic

By beings

Out of cyberspace

Then discarded

As mere meat  or

Piece of fat for the birds

A phrase

Often used

By orphans

and children

No one knows

What to do with

An expression

Of a stuborn

Soverseign

Or resilient ‘I’.

I was fucked up

For the second time

So to speak

by

My desperate

And by war

Turned

Mindless mother

A second time around

When she

Made love to

The young soldier

Of a Post Office troop

A German leutnant

Who ^{of some priviledged German family}, too,

Was seeking to escape

the putrid winds

Of war and slaughter

As desperately

As she.

The only escape

Without

Being shot

By arbitrarily created

crusading

Christian governments

Or hung

By its elites

Was to fuck

And for

the abandoned

Luddies* ^{*from German Leute/people}

To ‘make love’

Such as the folk called

”Tearing the skin^{the hymen}

Off the wire”

Then use the wire

To bruise, sext,

Masturbate

And ”skunk hour ^{https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-yaeY03-iU} ”

With porn

An entire millenium

And more.

Fortunately

Fritz’s and Mary’s

Need for love

Fucked-up

No children

But

Brusing memories.

    That was in 1944

    Seventy-five years ago

    Toward the end of

    WW2.

He was young

She was young

I was a young boy

A child yet.

    I saw

    But did not understand

    what I saw.

    Life in the countryside

    Herding cows

and sheep

    had in some ways

Kept me naive.

Standing in warm cow pie

In a frost covered medow

Warming my bare feet

Was my definition

Of reality still.

At that time

I yet believed

Father

Would somehow

Survive

And return from

Astrahan

Or whereever.

I screamed for him

Tantrums of prayers

When in bed alone.

No Buddha

Or any number of

Beatles ^{https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPnwlZsuS2Q}

Could convince me

Life levitates

On fantasy or dream,

Or some witless

Latvian author’s

Need for notoriety

And a future reputation

As a fool.

    I did not yet know

    That

    In his youth

    Father had been

A cityzen

Of tsarist Russia

Which fact turned him

    Into a robot

    Of government, city and war

^{(And, yes, which fact got the tsar and hisfamily, shot)}

    It was for me

Yet the time

when no boy’s father

is or ever was a fool

who could simply

Have fucked me up

The tragic joke was

    He was already dead

A bullet ^{on the 13th of April}

To his head

No doubt

Pants full of shit

The compliments of

Disentery

And buckets

Which in one swell swoop

Dumped the shit

Of Stalin’s victims

Into the Volga

And drew water

for those destined

to board, so called,

Astrahan’s Little Kremlin

^{https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-astrakhan-kremlin-image736810}

Neither my father

^{whether in Heaven or not}

Nor I

Knew that

Our woman in common

Abandoned on a farm

In a God forsaken land

By the grace of God

(or Chance)

By fucking

A stranger

Would save my life.

Which is whyfore

This epic

Of a survivor

To old⁽⁸⁵⁾ age.

Mother’s shame

(and so it was)

    Compelled

    Her Wehrmacht lover

    (an honorable man)

    To make place

    On the Wehrmacht truck

    For her, me, and

Sister and brother.

    Even as I

    (A blind witness yet)

    That same evening

    With anti-aircraft shells

Exploding in the sky

    Saw them do

    Whatever it was

    They did

    From the other end

    Of the hay loft

    Above the garage

Next to

The railway tracks

Of the Koknese

Railway station.

By some glory be

To Angst!

My life was saved.

The date was

August 20,

1944  ^{https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-ab&tbm=isch&q=soviet+attack+from+Madona&nfpr=1&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjmu_bj1v_aAhXRDOwKHbBSBt4QvgUIPCgB&biw=1031&bih=498&dpr=1.25#imgrc=_}

^{(Enlarge Picture with truck and look closely)}

In my stead,

Max,

Our white gelding,

Yoked to the wagon

Of grandmother’s sister

Aunt Emma

Was killed

By a plane strafing

The road.

Mother wore

Her shame

Before aunt Emma

A whole month

And unknowingly

Kept

Shamed aunt Emma

From telling me

The full history

Of grandmother

Dead

By murder

Of her late husband’s

Second wife

My godmother

Intrigue Galore

^{http://www.mumspatik.lv/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Miesnieks_Benjamina.jpg}

Of course,

The murder

Is a story

Of hearsay

And second sight

Etched in the memory

Of one

With no one

Remaining to censor.

*Father’s post schooldays bio—At the beginning of WW1, father was a student at St. Petersburg University. At the beginning of the 1917 revolution, he was a supporter of the tsar’s regime, and because he had graduated from St. Petersburg’s artillery school, he was commandeered by General Denikin, the commander of the White Army to the Ukraine front, where he was put in charge of the rairoad lines. After he managed to resign and leave the command, he was made manager of the coal mine at Nadejadinskia. That is where he was At the end of the war. Because Latvia had declared independece from Russia by then, he was able to return to Riga,where he began working for the daily newspaper Jaunākās Ziņas ^{Latest News}, which his father had founded and was editor in chief at. By 1932 father took over his father’s position, and brought the newsper international reknown. With circulation reaching 200000 copies and with each copy being read by up to six people, the newspaper outdid even the London press. When the Soviet Army occupied Latvia in 1940, father not only lost his job, and was soon imprisoned, but the family was also put out of house and apartment, which is when father took it to the farm of his aunt Emma, his mother’s sister. He himself had to return to Riga, where he was arested and subjected to interrogation by the Jewish Bolshevik* controlled Cheka. As for the foundation of the covtroversial statement, see Solzhenitsyn’s suppressed book ”Two Hundred Years Together” ^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_Hundred_Years_Together} .

*The Jewish Bolshevik was likely a descendant of the Jan Huss religious movement in Bohemia ^{https://www.britannica.com/biography/Jan-Hus} . For politically obvious reasons historians have neglected exploring the connection. A movement that evolved out of the Wycliffe ^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wycliffe} and Huss pathway of history’s labyrinth were the Herrnhuters who came to Latvieya in 1729 after the Great Northern War ^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Northern_War} to revive this war torn and demoralized region. One of the hopes of the Herrnhuters was to establish for themselves a territory they woul call ”God’sland^Dievzemīte” However, the Herrnhuters were soon repressed by the German led Lutheran Church. Some of the members of the movement then left Latvieya and went to America where they founded the city of Bethlehem in Pennsylvania. In Latvieya the Herrnhuters went underground; many began to take an interest in Judaism and the Kabbalah ^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbalah} ; many joined the Russian Orthodox Church. With opportunities to develop their own movement in Latvieya denied them and Chistianity proving its incapacity to improve the human lot closed, this author’s grandfather, a descenfant of the Herrnhuters of 1729 (influenced by Herzl, the founder of Zionism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zionism) decided to take the secular route and developed a secular career for himself. The repression of the Hutists^{and Sovereigntists} in Latvieya and the denial of my grandfather’s contribution in the development of this once sovereign country continues to this day^2019.04.20. Grandfather’s secularist tilt broke to the surface in 1895, when he won an award for his play against the use of alcohol (”In A Fog”^Miglā);  in 1897 he opened two hardware stores which suffered bankrupcy ^{https://lv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antons_Benjami%C5%86%C5%A1} . The bankrupcies were used against him for the rest of his life.