Eso’s Chronicles 337 / 13
Odds and Ends 
© Eso A.B.
All comments appearing within brackets [ ] are editorial in origin.

FOR CITYZENS—A TIME TO PAY (2)!

If the last blog (336) left off with the discovery of the husband of Baba Yana as being Santa coming back on winter solstice for more of the amanita muscaria brew cooked by his Chez Baba Jeza, we begin this one by adding that Santa comes back on Midsummer Eve also with the name of John.

I also mentioned that a remnant of the word ‘jezu’ may be found not only in Old Chech or Polish, but also in the Latvian word for ‘a mess’--kheza or yezga—it is also found in the French word for ‘house’, re: chez as in chez vous or ‘my house’.

In other words, looking to find the meaning of Baba Yaga (in the process of discussing the Bogomils), we wandered into a pareidolia of associations, the most significant of which is the name of Jesus, who I suggested (also in the previous blog) was the famous healer and husband of Baba Yag(n)a (or maybe Uga), who now (in our secular times when medicine is monopolized by ‘doctors’) runs the famous restaurant Chez Jezu (unholy mess of tasteful dishes), whose cook on one occasion made such a potent potion of medicine that he flew right out the chimney of his alchemy lab. Because Baba Yaga got good and angry on that occasion [she actually became enraged http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baba_Yaga (make sure you read the fairy tale about the three Baba Yagas at the link)], Jezu now dares come back to Earth only as Santa Claus on Christmas time and John on Midsummer Eve. No doubt, that is one reason there are so few good cooks around these days, what with most knowing how to cook only hot dogs and rat meat hamburgers.

When Chez Jezu goes to visit his three Baba Yagas (yes, Santa has three wives), he makes sure that he has with him appropriate gifts. If he does not have gifts, his wives are sure to detect the smell of his russkim dukhom (Russian sweat) and get ready to throw him out of their chez vous (just make sure it is not you). As the fairy tale tells it, Jesus’ third wife became hungry enough to want to get Jezu caught immediately, and he was saved only because she first went to whet her teeth and nails to better tear and devour him.

As we live in a time of inflation and ever increasing prices, Abu Jesus [Abu is the male version of Baba and may once have been the name of the devil, sataniel)] and his dwarf apostles or Chabas are known to been creating (at least dreaming about it) an exceptional gift for the future--no taxes. For this reason, all three Baba Yagas are eager to get hold of Jesus (even if elsewhere he is known as John or Ivan). He better be wary!

Chez Jezu is the name not only of some famous restaurants, but often stands for the name of its cook—Cook Jesus, aka Chez Jezu. Thus, when come Christmas and Chez Jezu comes to visit his wifes, he comes not only to get from them a new supply of Amaritas (red capped mushroom with white dots on its red cap), which Baba Yaga gathers during the summer and fall seasons and then dries on a string that she strings on the ceiling above her stove, Santa Jezu makes sure that he brings her a gift worth calling a gift.

The story goes that because he is constantly in danger of being captured, by one of his wives, Chez Jezu carries with him three horns http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Red-Devil-with-3-Horns-Tail-and-Goats-Legs-Pours-Money-into-the-Fire-Posters_i1872801_.htm , all of which he has tied to his hat, and which testify to the fact that he is the oldest son of God as well.

The wonder of the three horns is the smallest of them. When Jesus blows the horn (when his hungry third wife rushes at him breasts bared), he is immediately surrounded by all kinds of birds, among which the most amazing bird is the firebird https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCh5_Z5tQQ9KSl1ZRMLDLi3WqMQPlyrX0vTJTBT6wby0_lwdxX4VHE_35g98yFPa-ICbvj28RoXSnxfdbJIrISM2yGwKjnMgOf8Y74-m3GbrvNaTaD-8BIIqsWUxSm3LFpmTqwotPk7y4/s1600/firebird.jpg .

The firebird is distinguished by amazing tail feathers. In most countries the feathers are red and remind of flames. In some countries it is known as the Phoenix http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=420s1PtwnAg . The Fire Bird invites Chez or Magi Jezu to sit on its back and flies into the air just as the Third (and youngest) Baba Yaga is about to seize it.

The Third Baba Yaga is left only a few tail feathers as her husband (Claus or John) and the firebird fly off to Heaven. This is why in some countries the traditional Yule or Summer solstice fires are made of bound sheaves of oats or grasses, however, given that most people live in cities, some fires are filled with large cardboard cutouts in the shape of feathers, some midsummer fires are made of such material or even small rocket flares.